Thursday, August 24, 2000

Lessons from my Cats
Copyright Staci Backauskas 2000

Whenever I give attention to Billy, my tabby, Bugsy, my other cat walks away sulking. I've realized it's because he takes my affirmation of love for Billy as a rejection of him. That got me to thinking about how I've done that.

Maybe I'm crazy and no one else has ever experienced this, but I think there's a chance that I'm not the only one, so I'm going to write about it. If you've never dealt with this, maybe someone you know has. We all have our own Meshugass (craziness) to deal with.

Somewhere in my childhood, I created the belief that if someone showed love or attention to another person that they were rejecting me. In many ways rejection has driven me to be ambitious and successful. Or rather, the fear of it. I would do whatever it took to not be rejected by an employer or even a potential one. And I would go a step farther to not experience rejection from a man or a friend.

As a child, I would get very upset when someone else in class received recognition for an achievement. Somehow, I believed that made me less than. This tenet has had a much greater impact on my personal relationships. It has made me competitive with people who weren't encouraging competition, even though I perceived it as such. And it's cost me relationships. At the very least, it's incited arguments that, I see now, were completely unnecessary.

This was a difficult realization for me to have. It was painful and I'm still processing it. But I feel such a relief that I am aware now. I feel like a baby chick must feel, after it works so hard, to finally break through its shell. It's like my soul shared a secret with me so that I can continue to grow and improve the relationships I have been blessed with in my life.

There are messages about our beliefs and how they affect our lives all around us. Animals are a horn of plenty when it comes to lessons. Their personalities reflect ours without the veils of denial we can have about our own.

I invite you to observe your pets. Look at their behavior and be honest about how it is a reflection of yours. Maybe we don't share the same exact lessons, but there is always something to be learned about ourselves. And isn't that what being on a path of conscious evolution is all about?

From the Body & Soul newsletter at http://www.womanlinks.com.